Sunday, 30 August 2015

The Meaning of Acceptance in Stammering

Acceptance of stammering is accept your  stammering at any place, at any time, at any circumstances and with everybody without any shame and fear in your mind. Because we are not doing any crime by the act of stammering. In fact, we don't know why we are stammering.

Suppose someone ask you "Are you a stammerer?." You simply reply "yes" and stop there . That's all. Instead don't tell "I will stammer slightly only ; I will stammer to the strangers only; I stammer when I tell my name only ; etc.. etc..

You have to frequently discuss about your stammering with your parents, close relatives, close friends etc..  like" Now I know the meaning of acceptance and learned practicing techniques to overcome stammering and practicing daily". 

By doing this, your fear and shame over stammering would considerably reduced which in turn relieve off your stress baggage you were carrying so long. Without acceptance, no practicing technique will overcome your stammering.You have to remember one thing. We don't need any sympathy from others, but we need their support and encouragement to overcome your stammering.

Please keep it in mind that stammering is a social related problem and you need others support. Because you know very well that you won't stammer when you are alone. Also keep it in mind that you cannot secretly overcome your stammering by simply hiding behind a computer or a smart phone. You have to face the world boldly.

So, accept your stammering whole heartily without any shame & fear, practice speech therapy regularly for one year, overcome your stammering, forget about your speech thereafter and enjoy the life happily forever.

Sunday, 23 August 2015

Some Questions Mostly Asked by Stammerers

For easy understanding I have given it in a Q&A format. The answer is based on my experiences gained in my life.  Most of the answers are in general nature only. Please note that whenever I used the word GENERAL, it means that it was applicable to about 80% PWS. 20% PWS are always exceptional and may not match with my experience and perception. I have also given reasoning for my answers logically. But this not 100% correct and I may be wrong also.

 1. What Causes the Stammering?

Ans- No single cause has yet been found out. It is believed that it is a Neurological problem, which is causing synchronization problem between thought process and speech mechanism. Sometimes, I stammer while speaking with my wife and with my close relatives and friends also even at good mood. This shows that there is some neurological problem in my body.

2. What is the percentage of Stammerers?

Ans- It has been believed that 1% of world population is stammerers. My feeling is that this figure has been exaggerated. For supporting my argument, the following are my reasoning.

a)    Except my father, no another PWS in my entire family (both from my Father & Mother’s side).

b)    I studied in 3 schools  and I came across only one PWS.

c)    During 4 years of Engineering course, I had not met even a single PWS.


3. What is the ratio between male and female PWS?

Ans- It has been believed that the ratio is 4:1. I feel this ratio figure is also an exaggerated one.  To my opinion, the ratio should be in the order of about 10:1 only.

4. Is stammering heredity?

Ans- Yes. About 50% of PWS fathers or their close relatives (mostly from father’s side) are PWS.

5. Is stammering a bad habit?

Ans- No. It is not a bad habit. Bad habit means learning stammering from others. But I heard many PWS who came for their first meeting saying that they were seeing for the first time another PWS in their life. Then how could stammering be a bad habit?

6. Is stammering curable?

Ans- This is a very important question that every PWS must find out the answer for themselves. The general answer is medically it is not curable because its cause is not yet been found out. To me “Cure” is a relative term for PWS and others.If a PWS speaks fluently but still having some inner fear means he has cured 99% of his stammering. But for the listeners, his cure is 100%.Similarly, if another PWS having stammering outwardly but no inner fear means, it doesn’t mean that he has cured 100% inwardly, but he is living with peace himself. But for his stammering speech, he has to face the consequences in his life.

7. Is “ACCEPTANCE” of stammering alone is sufficient for a PWS to lead a better life?

Ans- There is no doubt that “ACCEPTACE” is a must for all PWS to get rid of their shame, fear and emotional feelings towards stammering. It may be helpful for a mild and very moderate PWS to speak reasonably well. But for moderate and severe PWS, some techniques are required to control their stammering.

8. Is it practically possible for PWS to use some techniques during stammering in a real speaking situations?.

Ans- I also read some techniques like in-block and post-block corrections, cancellation, bouncing, prolongation etc. It is generally very difficult to implement it in the real speaking situations, as all the PWS are always want to complete the sentence at the earliest and come out of the situation.I think bouncing technique can be used for the feared words and prolongation technique at the starting of a conversation.

9. Can a PWS overcome his stammering if his secondary symptoms are eliminated?

Ans - Not possible. Because the root cause of any secondary symptom is due to stammering only and not visa verse. If stammering vanished or controlled, accordingly the secondary symptom will also automatically vanished or reduced.

10.  Is it a problem for a pws to get marry and lead a good life after marriage?

Ans- This question cannot be easily answered. It depends upon so many factors like acceptance of the stammering by the bride, her economic conditions, family relationship, love etc. But in cities, women are educated and most of them are working and earning good salary also. Social gathering becomes part of their life. They used to attend weekend parties. After marriage, they won’t stop the habit of going weekend parties and that time if her husband happened to be a PWS, it will be really a very complicated situation for both of them.

11.  In a simple terms, what a PWS has to do to conquer his stammering and lead a normal life like            others?

Ans- It is sufficient for a PWS to read the above 10 points to understand about stammering. Beyond that, it is learning of unnecessary knowledge only which leads to more confusion towards understanding of stammering. It is just like “Too many cooks spoil the broth”.


In plain words, a PWS should not use his intelligence in asking many about stammering. From my experience, those PWS, who were asking less doubts are really progressing well.

·         Do practice a technique consistently for a period of one year.

·         If possible, use prolongation and bouncing techniques during the practicing period to avoid any           embracing situations.

·         And last but not the least, accept your stammering lifelong. Because even after one year of                 practice, the stammer may come occasionally.

I hope I had covered almost all the points about stammering.. If you got any doubts, you are always welcome to ask.

Thursday, 13 August 2015

HOW TO REMOVE WRONG BELIEF SYSTEM FROM OUR SUBCONSCOUS MIND

We have already seen the difference between conscious and subconscious minds. Those who joined recently read that earlier post again. We learned that conscious mind is having analyzing capacity whereas the subconscious mind doesn’t. The subconscious mind will store all the belief systems as it is (right or wrong) that was analyzed  by conscious mind. Subconscious mind is a powerful one. Once a belief system entered into it, the subconscious mind would not allow erasing it easily even conscious mind now tells to it that “Now I learned that I put a wrong belief system on you long back and I wanted to correct it now”. The conscious mind has to substantiate it with  reasoning  and also has to practically convince subconscious mind to agree for it.

Likewise, at our younger age due to lack of proper knowledge about stammering and proper guidance, the conscious mind of a PWS mistakenly made believed the subconscious mind that he could speak with stammering only. Since this wrong belief was put into the subconscious mind over many years, the subconscious firmly believes that a PWS cannot speak normally and will not allow easily to erase it.Then, what is the solution for this? As said earlier, a PWS conscious mind has to convince to his subconscious mind with logical reasoning that he can speak normally now.

How to convince a PWS subconscious mind?. For this, his conscious mind has first convince itself that  “ After joining TISA and after practicing techniques, my speech is improving day by day”.  To achieve, the PWS has to work hard, improve his speech and gain confidence day by day.

After gaining some confidence, the PWS conscious mind has to talk to the subconscious mind like this “ Dear subconscious mind, I wrongly put a belief system on you when I was young that I could  speak with stammering only. Now after joining TISA ,I am practicing every day and will be able to speak well in one year time (Specifying time is the most important). The PWS can talk to his subconscious mind as many times as possible.

Saturday, 8 August 2015

The Theory of Conscious mind Vs Subconscious mind

Conscious mind:


The conscious mind is the part of your mind that is responsible for logic reasoning. If I asked you about the sum of 5+5, it’s your conscious mind that is going to be used to make that addition. It also controls all the actions that you do on intention while being conscious. It’s also known as gate keeper for the mind. If someone tried to present you with a belief that doesn't match with your belief system, then your conscious mind will filter that belief.

 

Subconscious mind:


The subconscious mind is the part of your mind responsible for all your involuntary actions. Your breathing rate and heart beats are controlled by your subconscious mind. If you started to control your breath on intention, then know that your conscious mind took charge while if you are breathing without being conscious of the breathing process, then know that your subconscious mind is in charge.Your emotions are controlled by subconscious mind. It’s also the place where your belief and memories are stored.

 

Compared to conscious mind, the subconscious mind is many  more times powerful.


Here you must understand one important difference between these two minds. Conscious mind has the capacity to analyze and think logically with reasoning for each and every incident. But subconscious mind   is not having such a capacity to analyze and will always accepts conscious mind's  decision without asking any questions. ie subconscious mind does not have the capacity whether conscious mind decision is right or wrong and store it as it is. Hence it is very difficult to remove any belief system (right or wrong) stored in the subconscious mind.

Now let us see the role of subconscious mind with respect to  stammering. When we were young, our conscious mind believed that we could not speak without stammering and this belief system entered in our subconscious mind over a period of time and stored there firmly.

Friday, 7 August 2015

Watch this interview of Mrs.Chanda Kochhar ,CEO , ICICI Bank

Hi Readers,

Kindly Watch this interview of Mrs.Chanda Kochhar ,CEO , ICICI Bank.  Don't listen to the interview but watch her body language  including head movements. If we all speak like this, we won't stammer.

video


Wednesday, 5 August 2015

The Recommended Speech Therapy..

The uniqueness of this therapy is it improves not only speech but also increase lung capacity as well as improve our concentration. To get the real benefit of this therapy, it has to be done in the following order & there should not be any compromise on that.

1st month: Practice intensively for 1hr each in the morning & evening. Even 3 to 4 hr per day will give   better results. 


2nd to 4th month:1hr in the morning and 30 minutes in the evening.

5th to 7th month: 1hr in the morning.

8th to 10th month: 30 minutes in the morning.

After that the PWS has to decide the practice  based on his requirement and improvement.


Here is all the speech therapy videos ... Just Watch and improve your speech as much as you can..

video 

video

video


video  

Initially, it's very difficult to fo speech therapy & it will take some time to do it smoothly and effortlessly. If you do it sincerely for 1 year as I mentioned earlier and along with acceptance of your stammering, you can control your stammering to the great extent. The beauty of this therapy is, after the 1st month of intensive practice, you don't need to apply any technique like prolongation, bouncing, slow reading, breathing exercises etc. But you need to accept your stammering.





Tuesday, 4 August 2015

My First Conversation with Manimaran Sir

Hi!! My dear Friends..

My First Conversation with Manimaran Sir, I have received some of the facts of Stammering. He said to me that Most of the pws knows that stammering is also a neurological related problem and cannot be cured 100%. 

Having knowing the fact very well that stammering could not be cured 100%, what benefit a pws would get when we always telling  to them again & again that stammering could not be cured 100%. This negative thinking de motivating them only from practicing continuously.Another point is if a severe pws overcomes 90%, a moderate pws overcomes 95% and a mild pws overcomes 99% of his stammering, I feel this itself was great achievement for them.

 Some improvement is better than no improvement. He also said that accept your stammering,learn to speak comfortable stammering, then  you would be peace with yourself. The real fact is, if that particular pws successfully overcome 80% of its stammering, that itself is a great achievement & blessing for him.

Now let's discuss about the term"Accept your stammering and be peace with yourself ". To my opinion, this term is not a general team which can be applied to all pws.  This is only a relative one.

For example if a pws 'X', is in a good job and fairy settled in life, then the above term may apply to him.  If a pws 'Y'  borrowed educational loan from bank & still jobless , the above term won't apply to 'Y'. He needs some kind of fluency also to attend interviews & get a decent job, for which he needs to do some speech practice.

At the same time, We should not complicate our stammering also .


1st accept our stammering, get rid of our fear & shame and remove our emotional baggage.

2nd, since because of our stammered speech over the years, we made our speech mechanism into a faulty one. To bring back the speech mechanism into a correct speaking condition, some kind of physical speech practice / exercises is needed for the speech mechanism.  Speech therapy is one way of correcting it.


Monday, 3 August 2015

Whatsapp Group of Manimaran Sir..

Hi!! My dear Friends..

When i am connected to Delhi SHG Group. I come to know about the Manimaran Sir. Manimaran Sir is also from TISA. He is from Chennai and Organizing Chennai SHG Meet for their local PWS peoples. I got his number from ne of my Delhi SHG Friend. When i talk to him, i came to know about his Delhi Daredevil Whatsapp Group. Then i requested to him to add me in that group. He is very nice person, also a good mentor. He provides some tips and Videos thru Whatsapp that i will going to share with you very soon.

My Journey Starts..

Hi!! My friends. I am Going to share my experience of stammering with all of you guys. It was about one year ago. I just left my job and searching the solution of my stammering. One day on searching on internet  i got to know about TISA ( The Indian Stammering Association). After a long time exploring the internet i get through TISA Facebook page. After Joining TISA i attended a SHG (Selp Help Groups) Meeting which was organized in Central Park, New Delhi.  First time in my life i feels that i am not alone in this world to tackle this problem. There are many guys who are dealing with this stammering. On that days in SHG i feel very relaxed and calm. Guys i recommend you to Join SHG Group of your area to explore your self.
To Know more about your SHG Group Visit : http://t-tisa.blogspot.in/ or You can visit the Facebook page of TISA : https://www.facebook.com/TheIndianStammeringAssociation


Saturday, 1 August 2015

Welcome to Xstammerers...

Hello Readers,

We all Know that the Stammering is a big issue, we have to talk about that. Being a stammerer i have many bad experiences with stammering. I will share that experiences in my coming posts. Stammering is a speech disorder. It is not very uncommon. Stammering makes us shy or it can be developed a fear of speaking on the front of others. If any person has the problem of stammering then they have a fear to say something on the front of many people. He always scared about that if i am going to say something i got stuck and people will laugh at me. Its is the very common sense of fear experienced by every PWS.